when we drove onto campus, we were joined by many parents and just-graduated high school seniors who were attending their college orientation. i wish i could adequately describe the thoughts that were circling in my head, but i'll just give a brief overview of the "balance" hanging there and get on with my conclusion from the day! :) it has been twelve summers since i had my freshman orientation at uga, and ellie will have her college orientation in fourteen summers. so, we're almost at the halfway point between my college experience and hers. how amazing is that?! i was flooded with nostalgia as i was driving my kiddos around campus showing them [although only ellie got it] where "mommy and daddy lived in college, where we took classes, where daddy picked me up for our first date," etc.
as we were driving around campus, i couldn't help but look at all of the parent/young adult pairs and wondering what each one was thinking. i, too, felt half like the girl going to college in the fall and half like the parent taking her daughter to college. to say it was this weird paradox would be an understatement. but it was awesome. i just soaked in all of my observations, thoughts, and feelings. on our drive home from athens, i was filled with excitement for our oldest knowing she was going to be our first to go off to college.
i feel challenged and charged to prepare her the best we can between today and that day in fourteen years when she is beyond giddy to be in college. mark and i loved [& were "free" to love] college with every fiber of our being, and i think a large part of that was because of the wonderful parenting we both received. i could write a whole book about the things i would love to emulate from my dad and mark's parents, but instead, i'll just leave you with the ten traits/characteristics that i hope our kiddos have when they step foot onto their college campus [go dawgs]!
my ten goals for my kiddos as they leave for college:
- the world is your oyster. i say this to my kiddos all the time. i want them to dream big dreams and know the world is filled with unlimited possibility. i want them to explore uncharted territory and do it with hope and excitement. you get one life to live, and it's yours for the taking.
- champion & celebrate. i am borrowing this phrase from a sweet friend who used it to describe the way her daughter and ellie interact. i love everything about this phrase. i want my kiddos to know, love, and celebrate their friends. i hope they come alongside them and cheer for them. i hope they speak into their friends about what gifts they see in them. i hope they are their biggest fans, even if--and especially if--their friend wins and they lose.
- confident & secure. i want my kiddos to know who and whose they are. i want them to know they are formed in the image of God to be uniquely them. that they are wired in a way that is only for them; there is only ONE [insert kiddo name] in the world. i hope to give them the myers briggs, enneagram, you-name-it test, so they are fully aware of how God created them and can leverage that to reach their full potential.
- content & delay gratification. this one is huge. i always want my kiddos to dream about their future, but i want them to be fully alive in the present. i don't want their goals and wishes to diminish what they have around them at any given time. i want them to live within their means and save for the future, but not live in debt and pretend they have a life they cannot afford. i want them to feel the satisfaction of buying that first piece of furniture for their almost empty home and know that their hard work brought their dreams to fruition.
- want but not need. i can use this phrase for many different situations, but my first thought was i want our young adult to want mark and me but not need us. i want my young adult to go to college and knock it out of the park. i don't want them to need me to help them get through things but merely want my advice in situations. i want them to tell me that they found a house to share with roommates and that their share is within the budget we gave them, and me say, "okay! can't wait to see it!" my prayer is that our kiddos want to share their lives with us, but they don't feel obligated or like their life is my happiness. i want them to want but not need.
- cultivate friendships. i want my kiddos to understand how to make and how to keep friends. i want them to go to college having watched mark and me enjoy our college friendships and young married friendships well into decades long friendships. i want them to know the qualities of a good friend, so that not only can they find them, but they can be them. i hope they don't adopt the phrase "no new friends." i hope they look for every opportunity to make connections and work hard to keep the treasures of friends they find.
- good stewards of time, talent, & treasure. this is the last line of the first "open" prayer we say with our kiddos at night. i pray with everything in me that we raise young adults who number their days and become good stewards of all that God has given to them. i want them to spend time wisely and enjoy each second--whether working or playing. i want them to use their God-given gifts to glorify God and do great work. i want them to take care of their earthly people and possessions to the best of their ability.
- truth in love. i pray my young adult leaves my home with the confidence to speak truth in love to those around them. i hope they help their friends [or even just the person next to them in class] make wise choices. i hope they call out those friends who are making choices that are different than who that person is. i pray they are bold in their faith.
- gracious & grateful. you know those words you hope your adult children use to describe you when you're no longer on the earth? these are my two, and i hope and pray that i can instill being gracious and grateful into my kiddos. i want them to go home with a friend for the weekend in college and send a thank you note to the parents who hosted them. i want them to look for ways to bless their friends and family and to think of others first, always. i want their mindset to be "what i can do for them not what can they do for me".
- mentor minded. you could also call this one ministry minded, but i see it as more of a legacy of sorts. i want my young adult to go off to college and seek out mentors in every area [spiritual, family, professional, etc.]. aside from Jesus, i hope mark and i are the ultimate influencers in our kiddos' lives, but goodness do i pray they have many wise people in their corner. i also want my young adult to realize they are mentoring others whether it was ever explicitly stated or not. as my young adults go off to college, their younger siblings will look to them for guidance and example, and i pray they view this role as a privilege and not a burden.
i know i'll revise my "list" for my kiddos as they grow and as i grow, but these were my top thoughts that were swirling around in my head as i was driving around athens. i am a firm believer in the mantra i first read in baby wise, which is begin as you mean to go.
what are your goals/dreams for your kiddos as you prepare them for adulthood? if you have adult kids, what were the things you did to ensure they graduated college as a confident and competent adult?
