to my most precious big girl,
tonight you joined daddy & me on team santa claus. i always knew this day was coming, but to be honest, i didn't have a script already played out in my head. [unlike the "how are babies made" conversations we've had where i had read, studied, & prayed to prepare for those]. because you see, whereas the latter are facts & matters of the head, santa claus, to me, is a matter of the heart. santa is believing in the magic & goodness of christmas.
when daddy & i decided that santa was going to come to our house, we thought long & hard about how santa would enhance your love & understanding of Jesus, not detract from it. we knew we wanted santa to be simple, yet sensational. we wanted santa to be special, yet second best. we wanted santa to stir excitement, yet entice you more to the love of Jesus. i have always been big on santa theology, meaning santa brings us gifts we don't earn or deserve to help us celebrate the birth of Christ. we didn't use santa as a threat for behavior or as a bribe. we openly discussed how you will get gifts regardless of your behavior because Jesus died for each one of us even though we are all still sinful.
you are at the age where your friends start "sharing what they know." you have already had several friends from families who do not have santa tell you he is not real. you have wrestled for a year with these comments. i wanted you to arrive at your conclusion based on what you knew & what you believed. i have seen this past year where your head knew santa could not be a single man in a red suit who circles the globe with flying reindeer in one night. yet, i have seen your heart want to believe in the magic, the mystery, and the marvel of santa. i would always answer your questions about "is he real?" "is it you & daddy?" with open ended questions back to you, letting you arrive at your own conclusions.
tonight felt different. you pressed me really hard. you were wavering in your belief about the man, santa. you were searching for the truth, and that is something daddy & i always want you to know you will get from us. so, i told you that the man santa wasn't real, but that the spirit of santa is very much alive. we talked through all of the facts & myths & histories...through tears [from us both] & laughter. we mourned the loss of the childhood belief in santa, & we cherished our new partnership in the spirit of santa. you joined daddy & me on team s.c. [you said we needed a team name, so we came up with s.c...short for santa claus], & your joy & passion came back tenfold.
we talked about how we can find families to be santa for, & how we can go on a christmas shopping date [during school hours!] to shop for your brother's stocking. your favorite revelation was that we got to eat the cookies [& you were shocked to learn we threw most of them away]. you now get to stay up & eat the cookies with us. we get to brainstorm together who we can bless this Christmas season in the spirit of santa & out of our love of Christ. you fell alseep with more excitement about santa than i've seen from you in a few years because for the first time, this year, you actually understand santa.
your pure spirit & genuine love for others is something i cherish & admire. i have a renewed excitement this christmas season because i was again reminded about the real meaning of santa & of christmas.
my prayer is you always, always keep your childlike wonder, inquisitive curiosity, & passion to seek the truth. i am so grateful to be on your team, & i am so lucky to have you on mine!
i love you so very much,
mommy
