yes!

yes!  it's a word of endless possibility & open opportunity.  it's a word we often love to hear, we want to be told, & we want to say...yet it's also a word that requires our time, logistics, & sometimes money.

mark & i love to say yes.  there is a more seasoned couple whom we deeply admire, & they once told us that they want people to say of them, "you better mean it if you ask them to do something or go somewhere with you because they might just say yes!"  i love that.  we would love to be "yes" people--to opportunities, to new adventures, to showing up & being present.

the biggest "cost" of our yes is not money...it's time.  it's seemingly easy to say yes if you have the resources [or even if you don't].  think of our over stimulated & instant gratification society...all you have to do is click once & bam! you can buy & have most things.  the harder "yes" is the yes to time.  it's the currency most people at the end of their life reflect on--how it was spent, how much they had, & what they would have done differently with their time.  it's the gift most seasoned adults want most--with their grown kids, grandkids, & people they hold the most dear.

it's so easy to think of time & saying yes in the big picture & long term, but goodness can it be hard to realize the impact a simple yes during our everyday can be...especially to our kiddos.  parenting is the great paradox of life.  it's the only thing you learn as you go [& if you're lucky you have mentors that have gone before you & friends that are walking right along side you] & you want to teach your kiddos delayed gratification & boundaries with "no's," yet be fully present & engaged with a "yes."

growing up, i felt like my dad said yes as much as he could, & when he said no, he meant it.  there was no negotiation or changing his mind.  he truly said yes every time he could.  this was not to say we grew up getting our way...it was definitely my dad's house with my dad's rules [even into college], but we learned to ask for what we desired [spending the night out, new clothes, etc.] & that the worst thing to come of the question would be "no."

since i'm home with the kiddos everyday, it would be really easy to fall into either extreme of always saying yes because oftentimes that's the easiest in the short term or saying no all of the time because yeses can require more of me.  i've tried to adopt the "say yes as often as i can" approach, especially when the biggest cost is inconvenience for me.  i don't want to be a parent that only says yes when it's easy or convenient or works into my schedule or plan for the day.

i love to surprise & delight my kids.  i also love to reward them for asking questions; i don't want them to fear rejection or be scared of a "no," so i've trained ellie to ask for anything, all the time, & i might just say yes.  sometimes she'll start by saying, "i know you're going to say no because [junk food, time, money, etc.] but can i [insert treat, activity, purchase]?"  i typically respond with a no to these requests, but every so often, i say "yes!" and she is so thrilled.  i then follow that with, if you don't ask, you don't know what the answer will be.  no is the scariest answer to the question, & a no is not something to be scared of!

we also have an opportunity to make yeses work for us in our favor.  two nights ago, the kiddos asked for a "big, long bubble bath" before bed.  ellie even asked to bring a large majority of her play kitchen equipment, so they could "make" things in the tub.  if i would have been thinking of the potential mess of water, the fact that all of those toys would need to be rinsed & dried & put back, & the time it would require of me to be in the same room, it could have been an easy no.  instead, i said yes to it all--even the extra bubbles ellie poured in.  i got to sit on the floor of my bathroom & sort laundry, make mental lists of what needed to be done around the house, & even pull up a seat to the edge of the tub to order a coffee & treat. ellie talked about how that bubble bath was the best part of her day that night during family prayers, & i know that yes went a long way to fill her bucket.

let's look around us for opportunities to say yes whenever we can...not because it's easy or because we don't have boundaries, but because showing up for & with our families, our friends, & others teaches & gives us far more in return than the initial yes cost from us!