divide & conquer

mark and i have always had the divide and conquer mentality when it comes to getting things done.  about six weeks after we were married, mark had to go somewhere for work for a few weeks; the first fall we were married, he was in chicago for work for almost three months, and i was here in atlanta in my first teaching job.  granted, i am far more introverted than extroverted, so i truly don't mind my "jenny time" or solo time with kiddos...BUT i always enjoy life the most when all of my family is together, and we're able to go through daily life or adventure together.

lucy took divide and conquer to a whole new level, and i'm grateful for the lessons she really hammered home about it.  i handled most of lucy's medical, so i usually took her to her doctor's appointments and to the hospital by myself.  if i'm really being honest, i really didn't mind doing this alone because i (selfishly) only needed to take care of lucy and myself during those times (and any processing/emotions that came along with those visits).

throughout our precious time with lucy, we did as much as we could with all four of us!  we weren't able to go too far away from home (especially after lucy's surgery), but we were able to go to disney twice (two of my most favorite memories), and we took lucy on overnight trips a couple of other times.  in the times when all four of us couldn't go somewhere where we really wanted to go or should go, then mark and ellie would go (if lucy was in the hospital), or i would take ellie and mark would stay home with lucy (usually these were for weekend or day trips because obviously mark still had to work)!  we were also restricted with where we would let lucy go or who could be around her during respiratory season (october-april) because the hospital wouldn't allow visitors (sibling or not) under 18 to visit their patients on the floor, so we adopted that rule for our home as well.

as a family, we have made a it a priority to try to do everything we can do with and for others.  this oftentimes leads us to dividing and conquering, especially if it's somewhere ellie and i can go during the week while mark is working.  lucy really hammered home the point that we just need to do what we can do when we can do it.  i truly believe when we've been able to do that, if we have to miss weddings, birthday parties, or a planned visit, then that's okay...because we've been intentional with our time and have done what we can when we can.  i don't know about you, but that brought me a lot of peace because i could lay my head on my pillow at night and know i went everywhere i could go and did everything i could do, and when i couldn't, i simply couldn't.

one of my favorite divide and conquer memories during our time with lucy was a planned trip we had to disney in january (clearly we are beyond hopeful people, since lucy's surgery was four weeks before our trip).  mark and i had planned to run the half (again, hopeful jenny...i don't even run, what the heck?!), and make a weekend trip out of it.  well, sweet lucy was still in the hospital, so mark and i made the decision for me to stay with lucy and for he and ellie to go (along with mark's dad).  and do you know how i felt about that?!  i LOVED every second!  ellie got to have the time of her life at disney with her daddy and ethie (alan's grandpa name), and to say she was treated like a princess doesn't even touch the experience she had.  i had so much joy when mark would send me pictures of their adventures, and i knew that he and ellie were somewhere magical while lucy and i were at the hospital.  if they hadn't have gone to disney, they would have been stuck at home and around atlanta while lucy and i were in the hospital.

i hope we all have the mentality to do what we're able to do when we're able to do it. sadly, this doesn't always mean we should do what we WANT to do when we WANT to do it (wouldn't that be nice?!), but it does mean we need to do what we SHOULD do when we're ABLE to do it! i know that's a life lesson i understood a little bit before lucy and now understand it even more...especially because i've been on the receiving end of friends and family coming to see me (and visit precious lucy) when they had to leave their kiddos or spouse at home, and i cannot tell you how much those visits meant to me.  so, i challenge us all to look for opportunities to visit, to make memories, to be present in situations even if it means dividing and conquering within our family to let people know that they are a priority to us.