emotionally healthy home: part 2

as a mom and as an adult (how did that happen?), i am always watching, listening, and observing other families with kiddos.  i think experience...whether it's mine or others...is by far the greatest teacher.  we lead our families by example and by our teaching, which is why a couple of acts from kids/young adults after lucy passed away were SO moving and inspiring to me.

my first example is of the courage of a mom to encourage and facilitate her kids to be a part of lucy's story after she passed away.  i have known this sweet family for five years; i taught the oldest daughter in sixth grade science (wahoo!).  i loved this family from day one because the mom was always very warm and very real, and her daughter was a bright spot in my day!  after i left teaching, i continued to tutor the oldest (and later the youngest) in math (my first love), and i continued this through ellie's infancy and even tutored a little when i was pregnant with lucy.  i would take ellie with me to their house, and the rest of the family would play with ellie while I tutored one of the kids.  i loved any time i was able to spend at their house and around their kids because all four of them were kind, thoughtful, and mature.

well, fast forward to life in the fast lane. i hadn't see them since my last tutoring session while i was pregnant with lucy (apart from us following each other on social media).  so imagine how absolutely touching it was when i received an envelope of cards after lucy passed away where each member of the family had written us their own card with their own words...which showed great compassion and great faith.  the mom also brought three of the four kids to lucy's service (the dad and one of the boys were out of town), and they stood in line to talk to us and give us hugs.

i was so deeply moved because i think an "easy" response (if i was in that situation) would be to say, "that is such an awful thing the rocketts are going through; let's remember them in our prayers." but no, they dug in and willingly became a part of something that was beautiful (lucy going to Heaven), yet really painful (a baby is no longer here).  they moved toward the beautiful mess of life and the kids (at age 16, two at 14, and one at 12), were actively a part of something that may stay with them for the rest of their lives.

a second example is mark's cousin, alex.  alex and his mom came and stayed with us for four days at the beginning of march, so he could shadow mark at his work (alex was a junior in high school at the time and had to do an internship over his winter break).  i was so excited they were coming to stay because i have been able to get to know mark's aunt, lori, throughout our marriage, but i hadn't spent much time around her three kids (up until that point).  well, of course our sweet lucy went to the hospital the night they were coming in town and stayed in the hospital the duration of their stay; however, one day when mark and alex were heading back home from the office, they came to the hospital to visit because alex wanted to meet lucy.

i loved being able to spend a little time with alex at the hospital and was so excited he got to meet lucy!  well, the day lucy passed away, alex found out while he was at school.  when mark and i got home from the hospital later that morning, we received our first flowers in honor of our precious lucy.  can you guess who sent them?  you got it.  alex learned about lucy's passing and ordered flowers right then and there at school...with his own money.  not money he got from his mom, not money he asked to use for this occasion, his own money...and he did it without even telling his mom.  i can't even begin to tell you what all i felt when we got those gorgeous flowers that day.  all i can say is, i hope i can instill a small fraction of whatever is it that alex has inside of him inside of ellie and future kiddos.

so, in sharing these two examples of families and kids/young adults that came alongside us during this time, i hope i can encourage each of us to look for intentional examples where we can come alongside someone else in their tough times.  i pray my kids have the faith, words, and understanding that the kids/young adults that wrote us all beautiful letters did.  i pray my kids have the compassion, initiative, and awareness that mark's cousin, alex, did.

we have so many examples of others who have intentionally and purposefully done things for us and said things to us that mean far more than i can even begin to describe.  lucy graduating to Heaven has revealed love and support like i've never known.  my eyes have been opened WIDE to really amazing ways that we can pay it forward and to ideas i would love to implement in my own family.  i cannot wait to share more of what i've experienced and learned along the way, so that all of us can take those collection of ideas and pass them on to other people and families who may have that exact need right now.